Sharing comfort in the midst of loss

Mothers who had lost a child in death found comfort in speaking openly to one another of their beloved children, their grief and their possibility of hope at the annual Weavings weekend-long retreat, held in the fall. Professional grief counselors and volunteers from BJC Hospice encouraged sharing and healing and led activities of celebration and remembrance for each child.

“This was our 14th year of the Weavings retreat,” says Andrea Tritinger, BJC Hospice bereavement supervisor. “Thirty-five moms attended in honor of children ranging in age from 4 months to 53 years, who passed away from suicide, homicide, accidents, sudden medical issues and long-term illnesses.”

Participants came from across the St. Louis metropolitan area and surrounding Illinois communities, along with one participant from Iowa and two from Oklahoma.

The accommodations, activities and meals for the weekend were all offered at no cost to participants because of generous donations from the communities BJC Hospice serves.

“The moms at the retreat came from different backgrounds and different losses,” says Tritinger. “But they connected with each other and supported one another unconditionally.

“There is always this deeper level of understanding among the moms at the retreat because they all get what it truly means to lose a child,” Tritinger adds.

During the retreat, the moms had a chance to speak their child’s name openly and hear their child’s name spoken to them. They met in small groups to have more intimate discussions about their feelings and experiences and created a canvas art project to represent different things about themselves, their children, their healing, and what brings them strength and meaning.

“Although they never would have imagined needing to come to a retreat like this, they form a community to help each other move forward,” says Tritinger. “And so many moms tell us how much they appreciate knowing that they are not alone in this experience.”

This year’s Weavings retreat will be held the weekend of Oct. 18-20 at the Pallottine Center in Florissant, Missouri. Early registration is recommended. For more information or to register, call 314-953-1676, visit bjchospice.org or email [email protected].

BJC Hospice offers other grief camps

In addition to Weavings, the following grief camps are offered by BJC Hospice and will take place in 2019 at no cost to the participants:

• Labyrinth, a grief retreat for teenagers grieving the loss of a loved one — June 1, Forest Park Visitor Center, St. Louis
• Stepping Stones Camp, a three-day bereavement camp for children, ages 6-12, who have lost a loved one — Aug. 9-11, Camp Wyman, Eureka, Missouri

For more information, call 314-953-1676, email [email protected] or visit bjchospice.org.

In Weavings participants’ own words:

• “I am grateful I had the opportunity to meet other mothers and make new friends. This has been the best weekend I’ve had in the two years since my son died.”
• “I think it was a wonderful experience and it was beyond my expectations. It was sunshine in my life.”
• “The entire staff is very kind and compassionate and it was very healing to be with other women who can validate the gravity of losing a child. I’m so grateful this program is available.”
• “I am walking away with so much — my cup has been filled up and I can use that as I leave and return to my ‘normal’ life.”
• “This was the best thing I have ever done. Everyone truly understood me, and I made lifelong friends who truly care. This was the first time I was able to talk openly about the accident. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!”
• “This weekend was so helpful in me finding a path to peace.”
• “I have so many more tools in my toolbox now to help me get through the hard days.”
• “After this weekend, I have found a little more strength.”